Gracefully Broken: From "Church Hurt" to Radical Forgiveness Ch. 3-4

Chapter Three: Drawing Near

A denomination is a specific group within a religion. According to Donavyn Coffey a journalist for LiveScience.com, theological disagreements, culture shifts and movements are what ushered in the many different denominations we have in Christianity today.

Coming from a family of Baptists, going to a Southern Baptist church didn't intimidate me at all. I mean, it was only one more word added to the denomination, right? Southern. Georgia is in the south! How different could this church be? My thoughts didn't go any further than that. All I knew is I wanted to go and see what made my friend so different than anyone else I had met in school. On top of that, I didn't have transportation to get to church; she didn't either, but her church had transportation to pick up it's members.

On arrival, I knew for sure I would be attending a church very different than what I was used to. My friend had prepped me. "You have to where a skirt or a dress. The females can't wear pants." My face contorted. "Okay." This was the first time I had ever heard females couldn't wear pants to church. Other than the style of dress, I felt pretty much at home...until worship started. A woman in a long, soft blue dress took the stage. Along side her was someone that appeared to be her husband. It was the soft way he looked at her that gave it away. He wore a navy blue double-breasted suit. He smiled as he handed her a microphone and kept one for himself. A heavenly hymn filled the sanctuary and I was mesmerized by their harmony. No one moved. No one clapped. No one raised a hand in praise (except one solitary lady who I grew to love and adore for her nonconformity). This was different, but I knew this is where I needed to be...for now.

For several months I attended this church with my friend and grew to appreciate so many in this congregation. The love that was shone has to this day taken up residence in my memory.

Drawing Nearer

Throughout my childhood, I've gone to many different churches of many denominations. Thanks to my older sister and my summer trips to her home in the country, I was accustomed to adapting to different environments. Although I had experienced different denominations, I had never visited a non-denominational church until my brother invited me to one a few months after my sixteenth birthday.

My brother, Frank, had just gone through a major life shift and was intent on myself, my mom, my sister, and my brother visiting this new church with him. My mom declined his first invitation, but my siblings and I joined him one Sunday morning. Frank hustled to the front door with a hurried expression on his face. As the door opened, I realized why he was in such a hurry. Droves of people where filing in. The sanctuary was packed to compacity, standing room only. An usher with a gentle but stern demeanor directed us to a room around the corridor, where people were seated to watch the service on a flat screen television. Once that room was filled, others would stand in the foyer, listening to the message on speakers perched in the corners of the halls.

I was amazed at the out pouring of people. I had never seen anything like this before, so I vowed to wake up extra early the next Sunday to get a seat in the sanctuary. Sure enough, the following Sunday we made it in.

Chapter 4: Changed

My life will forever be changed because of the ministry God led my brother to expose me to. I learned so much about God, love, grace, and most of all His mercy. I grew in this ministry and I found God for myself in this ministry. You see, up to this point I was always taken to church, but here, I found my way to Him on my own. Eventually, I got involved. I was an usher (someone who greets and escorts guests to their seats). Serving was important to me. I took it very seriously that I would be one of the first faces guests would encounter, and I wanted them to feel wanted and loved. I would spend the next 17 years ushering and serving in various compacities and churches.

Seven years after joining this ministry, I would marry my husband in the same sanctuary I rushed to get a seat in. Our son and daughter is christened in this sanctuary and my pastor, mentors, friends, and congregation will bid my young family farewell in this sanctuary.

Joshua 1:9 He is with me wherever I go.

When I got pregnant with my daughter, my husband decided that enlisting into the military would be the best decision for our family. Once she was born, we received orders to move to a small military installation in Arizona. My heart seized to beat when I realized how far this place was from my home, my family, my comfort, and my church. I had developed such a dependency on all of the above that I didn't think I could make it without them.

I remember one night making a petition in my heart about the move and he gracefully led me to Joshua 1:9 in the New King James Version, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Within my soul, I felt peace--and every time the fear of leaving everything I knew would rise up, I would cast it down with Joshua 1:9. To make matters even easier for me, soon after our orders were released, we spoke to our pastor about where we were going. He shared that there were two churches outside of the installation that he was in covenant with. This meant they shared the same goals in ministry and he would often visit the congregations to speak and fellowship during the year. The peace this gave me at the time was an answered prayer, because we knew being a part of a congregation was essential to how we wanted to raise our two young children.

On October 11th, 2010, we watched an eighteen-wheeler drive away with all of our household goods. We loaded the rest of our things, our two-year-old son, and our five month old daughter into our small white, Toyota Rav 4. Our trip across the country would take us three days.

We were together and that's all that mattered to me.