Gracefully Broken: From "Church Hurt" to Radical Forgiveness Ch. 5

Chapter 5: The Good

After four chapters, I hope it is clear how important God's church has been and still is to me. My life's pursuit has been to help as many people as I can learn of God's love in a personal and intimate way. Moving to Arizona did not lessen that pursuit, no matter how foreign this new location would be.

Finally, we had made it. With a few thousand dollars to our name, and technically no place to live (on-post housing had a waiting list), we booked an extended stay hotel. On Wednesday, we set out to visit the congregations we had been told about. The first church we visited was a small congregation, which was good, although we were accustomed to something much larger. All I remember about this particular congregation is that some friends from my church back home, were members there. It was refreshing to see them again.

On Friday, we set out to visit the other congregation. Yes, the service was on a Friday! This was different, but hey, it worked for us.

From the parking lot you could hear the praise and worship pulsating through the exterior walls. Holding my son's tiny hand, I looked over at my husband, who was carrying our daughter in her car seat.

"I think I'm going to like this one," I said.

He laughed and pulled open the door. The atmosphere was bright, and I couldn't help but take a deep breath to take it all in. At this moment I realized I was homesick because this place reminded me of home so much, my heart ached, yet I felt comforted. An usher, a young girl, with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen, greeted us.

Wow, I thought. They even have ushers like back home.

She seated us on the left side of an amphitheater shaped sanctuary. Without turning around, you could see the entire sanctuary. The congregation was beautifully diverse and they all looked happy to be where they were. The joy radiated off of their smiles. This congregation was the perfect size with about 50 to 60 people in attendance on a Friday night. All I can remember about that very first sermon was my faith muscles being stimulated. The service blew us away, and we agreed we would return.

Over the next few weeks, we attended Sunday services and some Friday services. Eventually we found out there were Wednesday services as well. Since this was a very small town and there wasn't much to do or anyone to visit, attending service became "the thing to do."

For two weeks, we stayed at the extended stay hotel with our babies. Eating microwavable meals, and sleeping two to a bed (my son and husband on one bed and my daughter and I on another). We decided at the end of those two weeks, if we hadn't moved up on the waiting list, we would rent a furnished apartment (our household goods were being held until we obtained a permanent location). Mind you, my husband was the only one with income at the time, and he was an E3 which meant he was only earning about 33,000 a year. A furnished apartment was $1700 a month, so you do the math. This was not a favorable situation for us. We continued to go to service, and we continued to believe this would all change, sooner than later. Honestly, when I think back on the situation, it was a lot worse than I realized. Only God was keeping our spirits up because I don't remember us complaining or worrying.

We were together, and that's all that mattered.

One night after service, I remember talking to the pastor of the church. He inquired about our situation. I shared with him that we were 124 on the waiting list. His eyes grew big. The sermon that night and every night prior was about faith, so he encouraged us with Matthew 17:20 from the NKJV, which was the foundational scripture for the series he was teaching:

"So Jesus said to them, 'assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, move from here to there, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you."

This scripture ran circles in my head the entire night, until I started saying it, and saying it, and saying it: "nothing will be impossible for us." The entire weekend, I said it, we said it, I said it, and we believed it. I remember Monday morning so clearly. I woke up, still believing and saying the scripture that would not let me go. I called the housing department on post to check our status, and believe it or not, we were now #1 on the waiting list! There is no exaggeration in the numbers. We literally went from 124 to #1!

Now, this chapter is called "The Good" because following this MIRACLE, there were many incredible, mind-blowing, and astounding occurrences. I could list them here, but there are too many to count (call me and I will encourage your socks off ;-)). Let's just say by 2012 (two years after moving to AZ) my husband and I both had Masters degrees, we'd built and purchased our first home, and we both had leadership roles in our professions.

Some would say it was our church attendance. Some would say it was the fact we were giving more than 10,000 a year. Some would say it's because we were both serving on various ministries at the church. Some would even say that it was because we were "planted."

But God would say, "It was because of your faith--your faith that I could and would do above and beyond what you could even ask or think." Back then I had conflicting views because of what I was taught. I had to come to the realization that God isn't a tit for tat God. He is faithful. He is love.

Our lives were changing because we were seeing God's word with different eyes and hearing God's word with different ears. On top of that, our intentions were pure. Our church family was also catapulting like shooting stars. I had never experienced anything like this before. No one had. I always tell people, IT WAS A MOVEMENT, because it absolutely was. Everyone involved knew it, felt it, and saw it in real time.

Then...there was a shift.

Some would say, "a shaking."